when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
