meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
