just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
dude. I can hear the air.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
