Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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