Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize