I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Vodka?
Forever.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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