How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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