i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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