Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
