what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We are two peas in an std pod
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
