then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
