You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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