First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
