and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
