did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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