Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
