I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
