I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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