what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
