Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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