Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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