i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
