Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
