My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
