i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
