There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
