Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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