I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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