I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
