Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
