i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
