"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
birth control should be required to get into college
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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