i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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