Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
