I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just threw up on my dentist
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
