when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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