I think I am morally bankrupt
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
