Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
