in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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