I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
