Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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