worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
