Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
