How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
