What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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