i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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