If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We don't watch enough power rangers
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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