I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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