she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
