I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
