oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
