i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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