Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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