How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
