frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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