i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
