There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
