Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
