At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
