Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
