apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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